My boyfriend recently became unemployed and I picked up overtime at my job to make up for the lack of his income. As a result I am not around as much to keep the house clean, as he is home all the time I have been asking for him to help me out by cleaning up around the house (e.g. do the dishes, feed the cats, do laundry, clean the toilet, etc.) but without fail nothing is ever done by the time I return home from work. The first time this happened he claimed he got busy searching for a new job but we are on day five and I am becoming increasingly frustrated with him, now he claims that I am being “way too bossy and I am not his mom”. (excerpted from r/relationships).
Aristotle believed that through habituation anyone could become a moral, just, or good person. So everyone has the ability to be good but there is work and effort required to reach a good moral status, this is exactly what needs to be done in this scenario. It seems pertinent that you change your requests so they seem smaller and more do-able instead of what can be interpreted as a list of demands, try requesting a few small things and slowly adding to the list.
It is also essential that you refrain from instigating arguments on this topic; Aristotle also believed that there are vices, the two extremes, and virtues, which are a middle ground. This also supports the idea that you should be lenient towards his behavior for a short period of time as you are showing the vice two vices, persistence, and a lack of acknowledgement.
Aristotle said
“courage is a mean with respect to things that inspire confidence or fear, in the circumstances that have been stated; and it chooses or endures things because it is noble to do so, or because it is base not to do so. But to die to escape from poverty or love or anything painful is not the mark of a brave man, but rather of a coward; for it is softness to fly from what is troublesome, and such a man endures death not because it is noble but to fly from evil.” (Nicomachean Ethics II.7)
With respect to persistence, you must find a balance where you slightly pressure your boyfriend to better himself without coming across as nagging or overbearing. For the lack of acknowledgement, again, there is a balance you must seek. This balance falls between acknowledging everything he does right and acknowledging everything he does right, there is a correct amount of praise that can be used and it is up to you to determine what that is based on the context of the situation. By doing this you are not just helping your boyfriend but you are also working on becoming a more virtuous person yourself.
In conclusion, Aristotle would have told you “It is well said, then, that it is by doing just acts that the just man is produced, and by doing temperate acts the temperate man; without doing these no one would have even a prospect of becoming good” (Nicomachean Ethics II.4). Nothing productive will be achieved if you continue to demand things from him, if this is the path you take the relationship you have built with him will almost certainly be unsustainable. If you do genuinely care for him you can help him become a better person by reevaluating how you act towards the subject of cleaning with him, by fostering a positive environment you not only in courage him to act morally but you yourself will also begin to lead a more moral life.
By Group 2 (IB, AC, JL, EW)